


"How Would You Describe Your Maknae?"

by JiminWreckedSugaBias



Series: Maknae Line Hurt/Comfort Fics [4]
Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Protective Hyungs, Self-Esteem Issues, Yoon Sanha-centric, why does Ao3 not let me add original tags on mobile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 07:55:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17076374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JiminWreckedSugaBias/pseuds/JiminWreckedSugaBias
Summary: “How would you describe your maknae?”That's the question that caused his downward spiral.He expected praises from his hyungs for all the hard work he had done recently, all his improvements in dancing and singing.What he hadn't expected were the actual answers.





	"How Would You Describe Your Maknae?"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FlyingPurplePenguin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyingPurplePenguin/gifts).



> Hi! Another request completed and I'll get more tags in this soon! 
> 
> Ao3 is stupid and won't let you add tags unless they already exist when uploading on mobile.
> 
> This one is for FlyingPurplePenguin! Thanks for the request and I hope you like it!

_“How would you describe your maknae?”_

 

That's the question that caused his downward spiral.

 

They had been in an interview for some news station, Sanha couldn't keep track anymore.

 

He expected praises from his hyungs for all the hard work he had done recently, all his improvements in dancing and singing.

 

What he hadn't expected were the actual answers and it took so much to keep up the act and keep a smile on his face the more the answers came out into the open.

 

 _“He's always making fun of our height difference.”_ JinJin.

 

 _“Yeah, he's always come up behind us during broadcasts and making a show of how much taller he is.”_ MJ.

 

 _“Loud. There's never a moment of silence when he's in the dorm.”_ Moonbin.

 

 _“He never wakes up when he's told.”_ Eunwoo.

 

And the one that hurt the most?

 

 _“He eats everything in the house, there's barely enough for all of us.”_ Rocky. Minhyuk. The one in the group that he's closest to.

 

He couldn't remember the rest of the interview. He wasn't given any questions to answer and he wasn't included by his hyungs, which hurt worse. It was like he wasn't even there.

 

_Loud._

 

_Never wakes up._

 

_Goofs off._

 

_Makes fun of his hyungs._

 

_Disrespectful._

 

_… Fat._

 

After that interview, he wasn't the same. He would stay later to practice dances, he would eat less at the beginning and then slowly just made excuses (when he was even asked) about why he wasn't eating at all in the dorm, and he made sure to only speak when spoken to.

 

He never realized how much he himself was the one to start the conversation.  

 

Worse?

 

No one noticed a difference.

 

No one questioned him, no one shot him worried glances, no one _cared._

 

He had lost ten pounds in a week and the only people who seemed to notice were the staff.

 

_“Sanha, have you lost weight? These jeans are too big now.”_

 

All of his hyungs had been in earshot when it was said, but no one bat an eyelash.

 

It hurt.

 

But he kept going, thinking that it just wasn't a big enough difference for them to actually see.

 

He hadn't actually succeeded anything yet.

 

He's not good enough yet.

 

To make matters even worse? He passed out during dance practice because he had only had breakfast two days prior.

 

He only heard his body hit the hard ground of the practice room, he hadn't seen it. His eyesight had gone black.

 

And when he could finally see again and was aware of his surroundings, he was faced with concerned faces.

 

“Sanha, are you okay?” Rocky, the one in front of him, asked. Sanha didn't answer him as he tried to stand up, but Moonbin gently pushed him back down.

 

“Sanha, take it easy.” He said gently. Sanha felt himself tear up from all the attention he was getting after all this time.

 

Why did it take passing out to get it? Does he have to get hurt any time he wants attention now?

 

“I'm okay.” Sanha heard himself say. Rocky shook his head.

 

“Ddanha, you passed out. That isn't okay.” He said, the nickname slipping from his tongue before he could think about it.

 

And it made Sanha cry.

 

Rocky made a panicked sound at the sudden sob from his maknae before he wrapped his arms around him, only to let out a sob of his own when he felt how small and fragile the boy in his arms was.

 

But before he could say anything, JinJin kneeled next to the two of them and started petting the youngest's hair.

 

“Sanha, baby, do you know why you passed out?”

 

“Hyung, he feels like a skeleton.” Rocky said, and Sanha sobbed louder when the words left his mouth.

 

Everyone else in the room was silent, taking in the words their youngest rapper had said and the reaction it had gotten out of their maknae.

 

“Because he hasn't been eating.” MJ said, and Sanha realized that someone _had_ noticed.

 

But he also realized (thought) that the oldest hadn't cared enough to say something sooner.

 

“He hasn't been sleeping much either, could be exhaustion too.” Moonbin noticed too.

 

“He doesn't talk anymore either.” Eunwoo.

 

“He doesn't do anything he used to.” JinJin.

 

They all noticed.

 

Did they seriously not care?

 

Sanha's cries increased as all the thoughts ran through his head and he suddenly felt someone scoop him into their lap.

 

“Aegi, we're so sorry.” He was apparently in JinJin's lap.

 

“We should have said something sooner baby.” Rocky said.

 

 _They didn't ca-_ wait.

 

Sooner? Should have?

 

They cared?

 

Sanha looked up and tried to slow his tears.

 

“I thought you guys… didn't notice?” He saw Rocky's eyes widen at his words and he swore he heard JinJin cuss behind him.

 

“Sanha, of course we noticed. We weren't saying anything because we didn't care, we just remembered you saying how you hate being babied and that you want to try to deal with stuff on your own, that you'll come to us when you need help. We wanted to give you a chance.”

 

Sanha tried to not cry and MJ's speech. They cared all this time. It was himself that messed up. But…

 

“So when I lost ten pounds in a week?” A thud sounded from next to him, making him look.

 

MJ had dropped his phone and was staring at him with wide eyes. Looking around, he realized everyone was.

 

“Ten. Pounds?” Rocky looked like he was going to be sick and he saw tears in Bin and Eunwoo's eyes.

 

“You guys didn't say anything when the stylist told me that my pants were too big…”

 

“We didn't realize you had lost that much, Ddanha. All of us had lost an inch or two preparing for the concerts we have coming up, so we thought that maybe you had just lost a bit more because of your metabolism.” Rocky was right about the metabolism part, but Sanha shook his head.

 

“You guys hate it when I eat everything in the house, so…” he trailed off, not able to finish his sentence.

 

The boys were confused. When had they even-

 

“Sanha, did what we said in the radio interview get to you? Did we go too far?”

 

Realization dawned on everyone's faces and the rest of the dots were finally connected in their minds.

 

“Oh my god.” MJ sounded faint, his voice was so quiet. Sanha turned to look at him and was afraid the older was next to pass out.

 

“I said he was loud, he hasn't been speaking.”

 

“I said he never wakes up, he's always up before everyone else.”

 

“I said he goofs off, he's been working himself to the bone.”

 

“I said he eats everything in the house and…” Rocky couldn't finish. He burst into tears before being lifted into Moonbin's arms.

 

No one said anything for a while, they just… soaked in their own guilt and Sanha just waited for an explosion.

 

There wasn't one.

 

“Sanha, how long has it been since you ate something.”

 

He couldn't look at JinJin before he answered. “Two days, breakfast.”

 

He didn't look at anyone, but he heard their gasps and he heard Rocky's crying get louder.

 

They were blaming themselves.

 

But it was his own fault.

 

“We're so sorry, Sanha.” JinJin said, his arms tightening around the boy.

 

“It's okay. You guys were right. I never realized how much I ate or how much I talk out if turn before I started only speaking when spoken to and only eating when asked to.”

 

That made everyone's hearts shatter.

  
  


It took a while for Sanha to get back to his old self. It took a lot of love, patience, and support from his hyungs.

 

He had slipped back into old habits once but it didn't last even a day before Rocky noticed and made sure the boy was never alone for a week straight.

 

And the next radio show they had, Sanha realized just how much his hyungs loved him and did notice when he did good things.

 

_“So how would you describe your maknae?”_

 

Same question, but this time it was met with different answers.

 

“Amazing. He's always cheering everyone up with his jokes.” MJ.

 

“He helps me relax when I get too stressed.” JinJin.

 

“He makes sure to always remind us to have fun even when we're stressed from schedules.” Moonbin.

 

“He makes sure he gets enough sleep so he can be the best he can be during our schedules.” Eunwoo.

 

“He helps out with coming up with good food that we'll all like and that will help keep us energized through the day.” Rocky.

 

The interviewer was shocked to say the least, but Sanha's smile was real and bright as they moved onto the next question.

 

Sanha loved his hyungs, and he realized that his hyungs have and will always love him too.

**Author's Note:**

> Hoped you enjoyed! 
> 
> If you have a request, feel free to put it in the comments! 
> 
> I take requests for:   
> BTS, Astro, Seventeen, Stray Kids, NCT, and Wanna One!
> 
> Only rules are that it has to be hurt/comfort, can't be any extreme AU (sorry no vamps or Alpha/Omega verse), and it has to be maknae line.


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